They are out of CASH, Truly, it is written, the mandate of heavan has abandoned the Taliban

The NEFA translates a forum wherein the Taliban man describes the woes of being out of cash and the high price of bullets and begging for gas to attend an ambush and the evil of having to depend on the kindness of strangers for a meal. Oh, the inhumanity of it all....



“Peace be upon you, Allah's mercy and blessings.”
“Allah is the resuscitator of the Taliban and he is our witness that we have missed you and have addressed Allah on your behalf in this instable time, meaning the time of protection, which I shall ask Allah to grant us with.”
“Praise Allah, I would like to inform you of some news from the west of the Emirate – Herat, Farah and Namruz provinces to the borders of Helmand province.”
“Praise Allah, the morale is rising! Every day the Taliban brothers are defeating the blasphemous and profane enemies, the conquerors, and inflicting great pain on them, that is to say that every day you can see a Hummer vehicle or any vehicle belonging to the heretics with its wings in the sky…I mean it flies because of the land mine and afterwards it gets magnified with ‘Bika’ and RPG. What's intimidating the Americans is the ‘Al-Ashtadud’, a Pashtu name, which is a shoulder-borne weapon with a 82 mm caliber. May the Americans die in fear of this frightening weapon, with the help of Allah. It is lethal to their armored vehicles; it weighs 32 kilograms and is shoulder-borne. By the helpful Allah, in order to fire it one must be around it for an extended period of time, until he knows how to aim well, because this weapon is older than me, more accurately - it is older than us. It is approximately 30 years old, like the ‘Bika’ weapons. It is like when my brother, Abu Amir An-Najadi, had the Kalashnikov weapon which was older than he was. He used to call it ‘the cross-eyed’ because it was crooked in the front. But the most important thing is that it fired….”
“I have much uplifting news and at the same time saddening [news] for anyone who's passionate with our de-facto status. One time we received some information about a great convoy of large trucks carrying supplies for the heretics, guarded by the apostates. Praise Allah, we grabbed our weapons, got prepared and rode the cars. When we went out to the general road the cars stopped. You want to know why? The cars stopped because they needed gas. It was an hour's walk in the sands until we would reach the mountains and ambush the convoy there. We didn't have any money to buy the gas for the cars. If the people from the villages would not have fed us we wouldn't have the money to feed ourselves. If we would not have plundered the apostates' cars after killing them or running away from them in order to sell [them] and use the money to buy weapons like RPG rockets and ‘Al-Ashtadud’ to attack the Americans in the future.”
“Our leader, Mullah Mansur, may Allah protect him, is one of the Asian immigrants, and he is our leader. He doesn't have a weapon, I mean, he carries a Kalashnikov, but it belongs to some Mujahid who's sick or to one of the village people, and he'll return it later. He's also indebted of 4,000 dollars he's borrowed from his neighbors in the city, to use it to buy a car for the brothers, who grew…with him, as I see it. Some of the Taliban brothers went out with us with no weapon, since they have no money, I mean, 400 dollars to buy a Kalashnikov… “
“There are some in the Taliban brotherhood who hold Kalashnikovs in one armory. They don't have money for bullets. In Allah's will, I will finish with the following:”
“Let the brothers know that I published this news only after being asked by the leaders of the Taliban to do so, to publish this information so that the Muslims will know that we are in urgent need for money until we'll drive out the heretics. “
“Brothers! Allah is my witness that I only speak of what I see with my own two eyes. If sufficient money will be found, not a single heretic will sit in Afghanistan.”
“Peace be upon you, Allah's mercy and blessings.”
“…Do not forget us in your prayers.”

Your brother,
Abu Shimaa

Orcs To Launch Media War--Look to UTube and Surrender Media for Aid

“The real war is the media war,” Taliban Pakistan Orc Chief Baitullah Mehsud told Daily Times, recently in his best aw shucks we all just a bunch of no-account humble rednecks here. Don't know nothing 'bout that there new fangled world wide web internet thinge :

“It is our desire to learn also how one should fight the media war.” said the glint eyed master of ceremonies to his 30 assorted surrender journalists from various national and international media outlets to North and South Waziristan. This "news" should come as a major shock to DOD who only recently got it's gold thumb out of their tuckas and started a blog. The Orcs have had them for years.

“The Taliban have not been very advanced as far as the media war is concerned. But we are making efforts to catch up with the latest methods, and we will soon be available on YouTube,” a senior PIO of the Taliban’s media cell told Daily Times.

Orc Biggie Taliban Pakistan Chief Baitullah Mehsud initiated the big suck up with western media by inviting 30 surrender journalists from various national and international media outlets to North and South Waziristan for a major pow wow to sooth any hard feeling after the recent unpleasantness at Express TV.

Baituallah calmed timorous reporters by assuring them the recent murder of Express TV’s Bajaur, Muhammad Ibrahim Khan, correspondent was ‘unforgivable’. Baituallah told "journalists" that he , would personally “hang the killers” of Ibrahim if, (there is always an Orc IF), if they were identified beyond all reasonable doubt and the journalists nodded and concurred that if this was the case why they would stick around and listen to what else he had to offer or say.

Muhammad Ibrahim Khan, a senior TV journalist, was killed last week after interviewing Maulwi Omar, spokesman of the Pakistan Taliban Movement. Orc Media critics are very nasty, brutish and short tempered.

The Orc Taliban Media cell has big plans to begin releasing Orc family videos on YouTube .

The Orc family videos will feature the Orc kids firing point blank head shots into blindfolded men while other kids behead other "unbelievers". YouTube should have no problem with hosting these horrific family Orcs videos. After all isn't it all about family? Whatever it takes to advance the cause of Islam and keep the Orc family together.