DipSh*ts Volunteer! "Not a single person, not one, has had to be ordered" to serve in Potential death trap---Baghdad Says Union Boss

The fearful sigh of relief coming from DC today is from Dip sh!st union Vice President Steve Kashkett spared the ignominy of ordering press gangs ISO able-bodied dipsh*sts for service in "potential death trap" Baghdad. ""Not a single person, not one, has had to be ordered" to serve in Iraq, crowed union Vice President Steve Kashkett. "And not a single direct assignment has been needed." Color me proud. Just call me snap happy pappy" Wheee doggies. Ain't been so happy since the coon dogs treed gramma. Hot diggity dawg. Red blooded Americans after all! What's that you say? Misunderstanding? Ahuh. Condi moved too fast? Condi's fault. Ahuh. What's that mean? Oh. Ok yead I get it Condi moved too fast to call for volunteers when you all were really just waiting to find out if you were going to get out of Baghdad by getting posted to Paris. Ahuh.

"Some diplomats protested that Rice moved too quickly and left a public implication that they were trying to avoid Iraq service, when many were simply waiting to see whether they would receive their preferred next assignment. "That's the way our system works," one said. "You bid for Paris along with 30 other people, and when you don't get it, you volunteer for Iraq."

Sure. I understand. But wait here. Just a mo-mo. Didn't Condi say last summer. Yead. Thats right last summer Condi said nobody goes no where until Baghdad gets its full compliment of dipsh!ts. Baghdad First. You see, dipsh!ts, it does look like you all are a bunch of chicken sh!ts now don't it. Yead. Truth hurts, buddy, and life sucks and...what that? John Naland, president of the American Foreign Service Association, the dipsh!ts' union, is saying that "if State had gone through the normal assignment cycle, this is how it would have turned out." Ahuh. Oh, sure now he says it. Would have looked a lot a better if you all overweight, overfed, overpaid, gutless wonders would have smartly stepped up to the plate like they pays you for in the first place. Whatcha say about that Mr. Smartypants.

"After all the bad publicity indicating that the foreign service would not step forward, it in fact turned out -- as most of us thought -- that they did step forward as volunteers to staff Iraq," Naland said.

Yead, right sure. Tell you what. You get your dipsh!ts over seas and when they get there I want one dipsh!t per unit to report for shit can burning detail every week. Yead thats right. Drag the barrel of shit over to the clearing and dump five gallons of diesel in it and set it on fire. Oh you do remember. Yead. Vietnam. The shit bird detail. Excellent memory. Ok. Now for the rest of the shitbirds---you weed out all the fraidy-cats into retirement and I'll see what I can do about cutting down on the dissing.

A Letter to the 7th Diplomats @ The Dipnote official blog for the State Department

John Matel is a career Foreign Service Officer (FSO) who is currently serving as the team leader of the Provincial Reconstruction Team embedded in Al Asad, Al Anbar Province.

I just finished reading a news article discussing some of my FSO colleagues' vehement and emotional response to the idea that a few of us might have directed assignments in Iraq . To my vexed and overwrought colleagues, I say take a deep breath and calm down. I have been here for a while now, and you may have been misinformed about life at a PRT.

I personally dislike the whole idea of forced assignments, but we do have to do our jobs. We signed up to be worldwide available. All of us volunteered for this kind of work and we have enjoyed a pretty sweet lifestyle most of our careers.

I will not repeat what the Marines say when I bring up this subject. I tell them that most FSOs are not wimps and weenies. I will not share this article with them and I hope they do not see it. How could I explain this wailing and gnashing of teeth? I just tried to explain it to one of my PRT members, a reserve LtCol called up to serve in Iraq . She asked me if all FSOs would get the R&R, extra pay etc. and if it was our job to do things like this. When I answered in the affirmative, she just rolled her eyes.

Calling Iraq a death sentence is just way over the top. I volunteered to come here aware of the risks but confident that I will come safely home, as do the vast majority of soldiers and Marines, who have a lot riskier jobs than we FSOs do.

I wrote a post a couple days ago where I said that perhaps everyone's talents are not best employed in Iraq . That is still true. But I find the sentiments expressed by some at the town hall meeting deeply offensive. What are they implying about me and my choice? And what do they say to our colleagues in the military, who left friends and family to come here and do their jobs? As diplomats, part of our work is to foster peace and understanding. We cannot always be assured that we will serve only in places where peace and understanding are already safely established.


If these guys at the town hall meeting do not want to come to Iraq , that is okay with. I would not want that sort out here with me anyway. We have enough trouble w/o having to baby sit. BUT they are not worldwide available and they might consider the type of job that does not require worldwide availability.


We all know that few FSOs will REALLY be forced to come to Iraq anyway. Our system really does not work like that. This sound and fury at Foggy Bottom truly signifies nothing. Get over it! I do not think many Americans feel sorry for us and it is embarrassing for people with our privileges to paint ourselves as victims.

U.S. Ambassador Ryan Crocker Forces Men of the 7th Diplomats to Baghdad

Ambassador Ryan Crocker is talking up Washington's decision to force diplomats to duty in Iraq against their will. During a news conference in Dubai, Crocker said his colleagues should remember they took an oath to serve the nation same as military personnel. Uproar among diplomats, this week, included a State Dept. town hall meeting in Washington Wednesday where a diplomat's reference to assignment to Baghdad as a "potential death sentence." was supported with applause.

The Men of the 7th Diplomats

(That famous day in history the men of the 7th Diplomats went riding on)
(And from the rear a voice was heard)
(A brave young envoy with a trembling word rang loud and clear)
BAGHDAD!
Its a potential death sentence!

Please Mr.Crocker, I don't wanna go
Hey, Mr. Crocker, please don't make me go
I had a dream last night about the comin' fight
Somebody yelled "IED! IED!"
And there I stood with a splinter up my ...oh, Please Mr. Crocker,
I don't wanna go (forward Ho!!)--aaww

SPOKEN: Look at them sand dunes out there
They're moving and there's a Vampire Orc behind every one
Hey, Mr. Crocker-you mind if I be excused the rest of the tour?
HEY CHARLIE, DUCK YER HEAD!!
Hmm, you're a little bit late on that one, Charlie
Hooh, I bet that smarts!

(They were sure of victory, the men of the 7th Diplomats, as they rode on)

(But then from the rear a voice was heard)
(That same brave envoy with the trembling word rang loud and clear)
Baghdad! "Any other embassy in the world would be closed by now,"

Please Mr. Crocker, I don't wanna go
Listen, Mr. Crocker, please don't make me go
There's a Orcskin a'waitin' out there, just fixin to take my hair
A coward I've been called cuz I don't wanna wind up dead or bald

Please Mr. Crocker, I don't wanna go (forward HO)--aaww

SPOKEN: I wonder what the Orc word for friend is
Let's see-friend-- Al-Sarenadnow, that's it
AL-SARENDANOW!, HEY OUT THERE-AL-SARENDANOW!
Nope, that itn't it
Look at them durned Orcs
They're runnin' around like a bunch of wild orcs-heh, heh, heh
Nah, this ain't no time for jokin'

with abject apologies to Verne Larry
diplomats