Sunday, March 23, 2008

Born Losers Wanted--No Experience Necessary

"Wanted, young skinny, wiry Orcs, not over eighteen, must be expert Losers willing to risk death daily in one way suicide missions. Orphans preferred but not required. No experience necessary. Wages paid once a week to survivors. Apply nearest al Qaeda Central Overlord Express office."

Born Losers willing to risk life and limb to blow themselves up with American troops in Iraq are in short supply in Iraq. Apprentice Orcs have become a scare commodity now that word, no future in blowing your self up, is drifting back to the flea infested shacks in the 90% unemployment communities these wanta-be-Orcs once called home.

Most of these lame brains are getting as far as Syria and then getting abandoned on the border by unscrupulous border runners who are getting mighty persnickety about running into increased U.S. Marine or yankee Army patrols.

Some of these candidates for 72 raisins are turning themselves into the nearest Iraq patrols where they scrouge a meal before prison. Pathetic. Orc recruiters are crying in their tea as scores of fresh wanna-drive-a suicide truck candidates are justing saying No to travel, meet new people and blow them up recruiter spiel.

You can thank the internet for the word getting back to the glory hungry pests still in the 'hood. Of the ones that do make it into Iraq, well, the best you can say is they are a liability until they can blow themselves up.

Even if you give them the ubiquitous AK-47, their training is so ephemeral they will panic under fire and are totally useless unless surrounded by a large number of like minded pals.

Unfortunately, a large herd of Orcs is exactly what the Orc/Hunter/Killer teams are ISO and present mighty tasty targets of opportunity. Gee. Sort of...almost breaks Jack Burton's heart. HEH.