Marine Corps In Danger of Getting Little Big Army Fat

Marines, have you been feeling a little thick around the gut. Has the twinge of guilt from sucking down that extra brewski kept you from total brew enjoyment. Do you find your self skipping your morning mile run and finally--since you returned you really haven't trimmed off those extra pounds you were allowed in Orc country. Have you, Marines.

Now, Marines, don't feel bad. Help is on the way. You've got company. The entire Marine Corps is Danger Fat. And that spells trouble. A-r-m-y F-a-t. Army Fat means the Green Machine is no longer able to ride hard, fast and light like the Sioux on a Mustang galloping on the wind chasing Evil Vampire Orcs. No sir, the legendary lean mean Green Machine, is rear tuckas heavy. Dragging around so much heavy equipment that you're in danger of becoming - Little Big Army. Unable to turn and burn on Orcs with out bruising your tuckas you are a drawf size Gimli second land Army. This what comes from killing Orcs in Iraq. The CMC is not amused.

He's got a diet plan for you. Afghanistan. Afghanistan is the all time weight reduction program for the a fat Green Machine. Guaranteed to restore expeditionary fitness to your mission or your money back. The CMC Plans to ship the Corps to the big A and put everyone a foot. Less mischief and weight gain that way, he says.

"I'm a little bit concerned about us keeping our expeditionary flavor. ... We are much heavier than ever before," he said at a lunch sponsored by the Center for New American Security.

Commandant Gen. James Conway said Monday he is concerned about the Marines Corps' ability to respond to security flare-ups around the world on short notice because of the demands put on it by the Iraq war.

In recent years, the Marine Corps has emerged as a "second land Army" tasked with securing Iraq and must buy heavy equipment, including a fleet of 3,700 mine-resistant vehicles, to protect its personnel from roadside bombs, Conway said. link