Monday, July 27, 2009

New Code of Conduct for the Taliban--Mullah Omar



A new code of conduct has been issued to all fighters of the infidel entitled "The Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan Rules for Mujahideen". Apparently, Mullah Omar mindful of the upcoming Afghanistan elections, wants to make sure rogue Taliban don't create additional problems for his command by inconsiderate suicide bombings or unwarranted executions. Loose cannons can be such a problem for any army and now Mullah Omar wants to rein in those elements who are incapable of teamwork.

Teamwork, as Al Capone will tell you, is everything. Mullah Omar is putting it all in writing, making everything legit, so you too can understand that being part of a team is no longer an option. Like in the old days. Now Mullah Omar is saying in his little pocket book Team work. 'I get no where unless the team wins'. You understand. Nowhere. So before Mullah Omar pulls out his baseball bat and starts whacking some orc heads here are the new rules.

Read them and weep.

No freelancing. This means just because you think you are the new muj Robin Hood with a few merry men don't give you the right to go into business for yourself and start a new battalion. You got to fight for your right to Party. "If unofficial groups or irregular battalions refuse to join the formal structure, they should be disbanded," Mullah Omar says. This type of action is a clear cut call to break out the baseball bats. Ok:

"We have in the past had a lot of different groups in Afghanistan operating under the umbrella of the Taliban," Bays said.

"But it says in these regulations that if you find an irregular battalion that is not obeying orders then what you have to do is find that battalion and then disarm them." Whack heads.

Suicide bombings. No more indiscriminate bombings. From now on, according to the little pocket book, "Suicide attacks should only be used on high and important targets. A brave son of Islam should not be used for lower and useless targets. The utmost effort should be made to avoid civilian casualties."

Civilian population. No messing with the civilians. No bombings. No cutting heads. No shakedowns. From now on the Taliban will appeal to the hearts and minds of the civilian population. Mullah Omar does not want to hear any more BS tactics called: just grab them by the balls and their hearts and minds will follow. OK. No more. Ok. You copy.

These are the new rules:

"The Mujahideen have to behave well and show proper treatment to the nation, in order to bring the hearts of civilian muslims closer to them. The mujahideen must avoid discrimination based on tribal roots, language or their geographic background."








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