Apparently, the U.S. Army is now fully aware that the Orcs are smoking their tuckas in the information age and in a few shorts months released the diary to a...a... fellow dinosaur?! The WAPO. Of course, they released the diary first to the Washington Post, after all, are they not worthies of excellent fellowship and we'll-back-you-to-the-end-courage in this war against the evil Orcs. To their credit, this time, the WAPO accepted the scanned copy and in deepest appreciation only sniffed a little at their gift of a the copy released on Saturday:
"The Post could not independently verify the diary's authenticity."OMG! Standards?! The dead brains media has standards!! Oh my socks and little feet. Oh joy! At any rate, if the U.S. Army is plowing ahead with all the speed of a snail-dinosaur you, at least, have to appreciate that it is moving and so doing and did, in fact, release a copy of the Orc Diary to a member of the dead trees media. The THE dead brains media!? Look Ma! We're getting our message out. (oh, aren't you a good boy).
Frankly, I can't believe our nation's technology provides the world with the cutting edge of innovation when the higher food chain in the Army gets a clue and finally hears the nickel drop... how many years after 9/11?
"It is important we get our story out," a U.S. military official said on condition of anonymity. "I firmly believe the information part of this conflict is as very vital as the armed element of it. . . . We don't want to lose that to al-Qaeda."
Sweet heart. You lost "THAT" to the Orcs. Already. Now, you all are just playing ketchup. Must. Stay. Positive. Must. Stay. Positive.Must. Stay. Positive. Must. Stay. Positive. Must. Stay. Positive. Must. Stay. Positive.Must. Stay. Positive. Must. Stay. Positive.
Yes. The diary, released yesterday to a member of the we are not carrying water for Bush media, is an itemized list of a massive case of Whoopass. Abu Tariq, Emir of al-Layin and al-Mashadah Sector, started out with 200 men and now is down to 20.
Major Suck Wind.
He lists weapons still has in his arsenal-- 7.62mm machine guns, RPG-9 rocket-propelled grenades and C5 rockets, yada, yada, and also notes that a certain "Comrade" had "2000 C5 rockets and an RPG-9" in his possession but refused to hand them over." Major HeadsUP! Abu Tariq doesn't understand why the brother Orc would hold out on him so.
"We do not know what is his intention in that regard," Abu Tariq.
Heads up Abu. Here is a clue. Could it be that your brother Orc holds a Master's in Back-Stabbing, Cork-Screwing and Dirty-Dealing-Dealing!
Finally, Abu takes a pathetic roll call and places notes by the names of his gone but not forgotten Missing Orcs:
- "We have not seen him for more than 20 days so far"
- "Left three days ago."
- "And that is the number of fighters left in my sector."
